Saturday, August 25, 2007
Sunday, August 12, 2007
Tuesday, August 7, 2007
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Monday, August 6, 2007
Friday, August 3, 2007
Thursday, August 2, 2007
SO MUCH TO TALK ABOUT, SO LITTLE TIME
When I started this blog, I planned to post every day. The last time I posted was in April.....:o((
Life has been moving so damn fast for me the last few months, too fast sometimes.
I have many jobs which give me so much fufilment. Tonight I accidently left my cellphone at home and to be quite nice, it felt really nice to just sit on a bench at the mall and just enjoy the sounds around me without the phone ringing or somebody texting me that required immediate if not sooner attention. Weird I know, but just so true.
I will try to post more often......
Life has been moving so damn fast for me the last few months, too fast sometimes.
I have many jobs which give me so much fufilment. Tonight I accidently left my cellphone at home and to be quite nice, it felt really nice to just sit on a bench at the mall and just enjoy the sounds around me without the phone ringing or somebody texting me that required immediate if not sooner attention. Weird I know, but just so true.
I will try to post more often......
Thursday, April 26, 2007
SO MUCH TO TALK ABOUT
Yesterday while parked at the Opera House, some old guy ran into my new car and tore off the rear view mirror on the drivers side, plus scrapped the side of my car.
I wanted to cry but I kept my composure until I gave my statement to the Police and started to drive away.
It has been really hard to deal with my Insurance Company as they want me to wait to see if the guy that ran into my car is going to pay for the damage done to my car out of his pocket. That's like waiting for the 2nd coming of Christ in my opinion.
Why do Insurance Companies take your money than do nothing when you really need them to do something.
I think that I am in love with one of my friends, just haven't had the guts to tell him yet.
I wanted to cry but I kept my composure until I gave my statement to the Police and started to drive away.
It has been really hard to deal with my Insurance Company as they want me to wait to see if the guy that ran into my car is going to pay for the damage done to my car out of his pocket. That's like waiting for the 2nd coming of Christ in my opinion.
Why do Insurance Companies take your money than do nothing when you really need them to do something.
I think that I am in love with one of my friends, just haven't had the guts to tell him yet.
Friday, April 20, 2007
IT'S FRIDAY
It's been awhile since I wrote, but I really didn't have much to write. I been going through a funk lately, and I'm not sure why.
My friend Daniel has a video called `Landlord`on his blog and it really lifted my spirits the last few days. Thank you Daniel for the chuckle.
I have been really struggling with the lack of love in my life. Although I felt quite content before, I feel a huge hole lately. I feel that it is the realization that Jason and I are no more. It hurts but life must go on and I am determined to go on no matter how hard the struggle.
I have to DJ Saturday night, and for once I am looking forward to doing so. Being a DJ has been a release for me, almost better than anything else that I have ever experienced. I guess I like being the center of attention even if it is for a few hours a week.
My friend Daniel is trying to gain some weight. My God it would be great to lose some in my case. I read his blog today and noticed he LOST 4 pounds instead of gaining. He is on the go alot, and I think that is why he is so thin. Maybe I should try that .
I figured out today that being an old gay guy really sucks, but life will go on...........
My friend Daniel has a video called `Landlord`on his blog and it really lifted my spirits the last few days. Thank you Daniel for the chuckle.
I have been really struggling with the lack of love in my life. Although I felt quite content before, I feel a huge hole lately. I feel that it is the realization that Jason and I are no more. It hurts but life must go on and I am determined to go on no matter how hard the struggle.
I have to DJ Saturday night, and for once I am looking forward to doing so. Being a DJ has been a release for me, almost better than anything else that I have ever experienced. I guess I like being the center of attention even if it is for a few hours a week.
My friend Daniel is trying to gain some weight. My God it would be great to lose some in my case. I read his blog today and noticed he LOST 4 pounds instead of gaining. He is on the go alot, and I think that is why he is so thin. Maybe I should try that .
I figured out today that being an old gay guy really sucks, but life will go on...........
Monday, April 16, 2007
IT'S LATE, AND I SHOULD BE SLEEPING
Today has been a day of discovery for me. First, I was really sick and came home early. I chatted with my friend Daniel for close to an hour on his cell phone. Daniel thinks that I am a dirty "old" man but I appreciate the fact that he still calls me to talk and sometimes to shop. I stole a saying from his blog that I really like. I gave him material for his blog, so I think that he won't mind.
Daniel is somebody that is still discovering who he is and what he wants to be. I admire his determination to find not only himself but the best in others, no matter how complicated.
I found out that I talk about Jason way too much, and that it shows. Thanks to all my friends for allowing me to vent. It really does help. I promise to try to not do it as often.
What makes us great human being is not necessarily what is apparent on the inside but the deeds that we do on the outside. I am blessed to friends that accept me for who I am, and not what I could be.
Well it is late and 4:30am will come sooner than later.
I am reminded each day of a friend that I met at the George Dumont Hospital that taught me to live each day as if it were my last because someday it will be, and I hope when that day does come that I can leave this rugged old world knowing that I hurt no one and that I touched some one.
Daniel is somebody that is still discovering who he is and what he wants to be. I admire his determination to find not only himself but the best in others, no matter how complicated.
I found out that I talk about Jason way too much, and that it shows. Thanks to all my friends for allowing me to vent. It really does help. I promise to try to not do it as often.
What makes us great human being is not necessarily what is apparent on the inside but the deeds that we do on the outside. I am blessed to friends that accept me for who I am, and not what I could be.
Well it is late and 4:30am will come sooner than later.
I am reminded each day of a friend that I met at the George Dumont Hospital that taught me to live each day as if it were my last because someday it will be, and I hope when that day does come that I can leave this rugged old world knowing that I hurt no one and that I touched some one.
I STOLE THIS FROM MY FRIEND DANIEL'S BLOG
Find a guy, who calls you beautiful instead of hot. Who calls you back when you hang up on him. Who will stay awake just to watch you sleep. Wait for the guy who kisses your forehead. Who wants to show you off to the world when you are in your sweats. Who holds your hand in front of his friends. Wait for the one who is constantly reminding you of how much he cares about you and how lucky he is to have you. Wait for the one who turns to his friends and says, "...that's him."
Friday, April 13, 2007
IT'S FRIDAY THE 13th
It Friday the 13th, and I have been doing alot of thinking the last few days about something that a friend had written in his blog. He stated that all gay men are liars. I really didn't think that he was right, but I am starting to see some merit to his argument.
Maybe it because I was raised by parents that taught me to be truthful, no matter what the cost. I hate lies, they destroy so many good things, but being a gay men, I see and hear the effects of lies every day.
My relationship with Jason was based mostly on lies. His not mine. "I can't be gay and be in the military. " I wanted to believe him, but eventually I knew the truth, and that it wasn't that the military didn't accept him being gay but the fact was that he couldn't accept it. I feel that it was an expensive lesson.
As a country we lost some of our military men. What makes me literally sick to my stomach is when people say that these brave men died for OUR freedom. Since when have we been in a war with Afghanistan? They can't get an army together to defend their own country for God sakes, that is why we are an unwelcome guest in their country. That is why they are killing our countrymen in great numbers this week. In my opinion Canada let these brave men down, and they have paid the price. I beginning to have a new love for NDP leader Jack Layton, who has advocated that we pull our troops from Afghanistan. If we had done it before this week, these soliders would still be alive.
The sad part is we as a country lie not only to each other but to ourselves to try to rationalize our presence in a country where we are not obviously welcome.
Just my thoughts, although I realize that they are not popular......
Maybe it because I was raised by parents that taught me to be truthful, no matter what the cost. I hate lies, they destroy so many good things, but being a gay men, I see and hear the effects of lies every day.
My relationship with Jason was based mostly on lies. His not mine. "I can't be gay and be in the military. " I wanted to believe him, but eventually I knew the truth, and that it wasn't that the military didn't accept him being gay but the fact was that he couldn't accept it. I feel that it was an expensive lesson.
As a country we lost some of our military men. What makes me literally sick to my stomach is when people say that these brave men died for OUR freedom. Since when have we been in a war with Afghanistan? They can't get an army together to defend their own country for God sakes, that is why we are an unwelcome guest in their country. That is why they are killing our countrymen in great numbers this week. In my opinion Canada let these brave men down, and they have paid the price. I beginning to have a new love for NDP leader Jack Layton, who has advocated that we pull our troops from Afghanistan. If we had done it before this week, these soliders would still be alive.
The sad part is we as a country lie not only to each other but to ourselves to try to rationalize our presence in a country where we are not obviously welcome.
Just my thoughts, although I realize that they are not popular......
Tuesday, April 10, 2007
My Place
This is the kitchen area at my place. I currently live in a 2 bedroom apartment in Miramichi. I use one bedroom for my office, where I am typing this post, the other is my bedroom. The kitchen and livingroom are an open concept.
WHY DO WE FALL IN LOVE
I've really been going through a turmoil of late trying to figure out why we fall in love with such uncaring people. Jason and I stop communicating not too long after I picked up JJ in Amherst. Our meeting was wonderful, we met at Jungle Jim's in Amherst and talked for over an hour. He promised to keep in touch. He never did. Not a call to see how JJ was adjusting in his new home, nothing. My parents had offered to let Jason visit JJ anytime he wanted. He still hasn't taken them up on the offer.
A few months ago, his sister Annette got married. Jason's step dad lives across the road from me. Jason stayed there, but never called or dropped in. Reality check Mike. He was my first true love, and I must admit it has been a struggle to move on, although it is the only reality that is left.
JJ has been and continues to be the only bright spot in our connection to each other, but like JJ, I have become too much of a bother for Jason, and that makes me quite sad to think that after what we have been throught together that he has intentionally chosen to shut us out.
A few months ago, his sister Annette got married. Jason's step dad lives across the road from me. Jason stayed there, but never called or dropped in. Reality check Mike. He was my first true love, and I must admit it has been a struggle to move on, although it is the only reality that is left.
JJ has been and continues to be the only bright spot in our connection to each other, but like JJ, I have become too much of a bother for Jason, and that makes me quite sad to think that after what we have been throught together that he has intentionally chosen to shut us out.
My Pug JJ
JJ is probably the only good thing that has come out of mine and Jason's relationship. Jason wanted JJ so much around Christmas a couple years ago, so he bought him, but found that JJ was too much trouble to care for, so he gave me JJ last year in April. JJ now lives with my parents, who he has wrapped around his little or not so little paw.
He is the light of our lives. JJ is the first to greet me when I wander into my parent's home. He has a permanent place on Dad's lap, or "his" couch, where my Mom has a blanket for covering up JJ when he gets tired. He is alot smarter than some people I have had the misfortune to meet.
Monday, April 9, 2007
Jason
This is Jason, who broke my heart. He is in the Navy now and we hardly talk. That makes me really sad.
My First Blog
Hey welcome to my 1st blog. I went shopping with my friend Daniel. It was really kewl. It was nice to get an opportunity just to talk and go on like fools. He's really nice, and I am happy that he came into my life, as a good friend.
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